I Just Want to Say That This App Was My Idea First Before it Becomes a Thing
The closest I ever got to becoming an app developer was in middle school when I taught myself basic HTML in order to customize the layouts of my MySpace and Xanga pages. I know that <p> breaks a paragraph in text and that <body> will make a shirtless image of Usher appear, but that's about as much as I can recall at the present moment.
I regret trading my extracurricular education in coding for a social life when I have a genius idea for an app, but I regret it even more when that genius idea for an app becomes a tangible genius app that earns someone a fifth home in Tahiti. For their dog.
"That could be me!" I think to myself. "My Bichon would love to visit the French Polynesia. She is of French descent despite being born in Quakertown, Pennsylvania."
I say all this because I think my brain is the keeper of The Next Big Thing. Hear me out: According to Bloomberg, we will soon be able to book appointments with businesses on Instagram. This development was not my idea, but, riffing off the idea of micro e-commerce, why hasn't someone created an app or an Instagram extension that allows you to insert recipe data into a photo of food that shows other users what went into the dish? What if you could shop for those ingredients with a food delivery service in a way that's similar to Like to Know It, which allows users to shop the wardrobes of their favorite ~influencers~ via screenshot?
Food52 comes close to this idea with their (Not)Recipes app, which is essentially a food-exclusive Instagram platform that doubles as an itty-bitty food blog. The downside to this app is that you have to download yet another app and establish a new social media presence among another community, which is still growing. To this, I say, "Eeeeeehhhhhhh," and go back to Instagram.
Though Food52 will likely beat me at realizing my vision, Lily and I will be waiting with tickets to Tahiti and a suitcase packed with precisely two bikinis (one dog, one human) if anyone wants to go into business before my ship sails in someone else's lagoon.
Analyze & Discuss
Alternatively, would anyone help me develop:
- A commuter briefcase that has an insulated compartment for lunch/snacks?
- Workout apparel that turns sweat stains into glitter?
- Nail polish made with acne medication that reverses damage from face-picking?
- A SHOWER DISCO BALL??
Patenting ideas is for suckers who don't pay to host a public blog.
"Good things" are just "meh things," according to the internet.
Surprise: it wasn't pasta.
Wake up, grab a hula hoop, and don't stop gyrating until the cows come home.
My sister and I recreated family photos from our first visit to Walt Disney World seventeen years ago in 1999.
Here's a note from me to liberal arts students graduating in the class of 2016 with their string lights and what not.
Every millennial idiot needs to take notes from a chef.
I ate one solo mindful meal a day for a week. Here's how it went.
Let's try eating mindfully without multitasking on our soul-sucking technological devices.
A year after beginning a blog, I still have no idea what I'm doing.