Important Life Update
I found this giant daikon at the supermarket.
Daikons are kind of like radishes, except they're delightfully phallic.
I took the daikon and chopped it up.
And it is now fermenting as kimchi on my counter.
Yes, that is a potato wedged into the top of the Mason jar because I lost the part of the cap that actually seals the air in.
Good night, sweet prince. Good night, good night.