Swiftie Steve Breaks His Silence on Talvin's Breakup

If you are unfamiliar with my dad's appreciation for Taylor Swift, please catch up here and here before continuing on.

INT. Car — Night

Dad drives Mia, Marla, and Marla's visiting friend home from the train station wearing Tommy Bahama plaid shorts.

Mia: Dad, did you know that Calvin Harris and Taylor Swift broke up?

Dad: Taylor Swift and who???

Marla: Her boyfriend.

Mia: Not important who he is.

Dad: Oh.

Mia: ...What do you think?

Dad: Well, you know I respect her as an artist with her music and everything, but when it comes to her dating life, nuh-uh-UH! Black widow!! I’d stay far away from dating her!!!!

The only truth here is that a relationship came to an end & what remains is a huge amount of love and respect

— Calvin Harris (@CalvinHarris) June 2, 2016

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Analyze & Discuss:

Is my dad more likely to asphyxiate himself by staying married to my mom or by dating Taylor Swift?