Little Investments: The Blooper Reel
It's been two years since I gave birth to the first thing that I ever allowed to creatively impregnate me, which was a comedy mini series entitled Little Investments. The idea of creating an original web series crept into my head while I was studying abroad in Italy during the spring of my junior year; the weather was dismal and there wasn't much else to do besides drink and dream when exploring a foreign country grew trite.
Knowing that I wanted to write a comedy and that I would have to produce it on my own dime with the resources that I could obtain in Westchester, New York, I began concocting and pitched the idea of turning the project into a senior thesis to my faculty advisor via email. He consented, and I spent the following summer writing drafts of what might be some of the shittiest dialogue between four girls in their early twenties that you'll (n)ever hear only rivaled by that which you'd encounter during an extended stay at Starbucks. It was so bad that I couldn't even tell you what the premise of the original series was because I had it surgically removed from my memory.
And it didn't get much better by the end of the first semester either! Two out of the three advisors on my project agreed that the plot had no direction and that the script was a series of B- jokes at best. I had one semester left to crew up, cast, and shoot the entire thing, so at Christmastime, my diploma appeared to be a dandelion floating away into a faraway, toxic wasteland in my mind's eye unless I was inspired—and fast. The only thing at my immediate disposal was my family's daily banter that was cranked up to full volume given that it was the holiday season, which you understand is a self-written sitcom if you've encountered the Lardiere's during any point of the year. Fortunately, we're not white enough to get picked up by CBS, so the universe allowed my series to blossom at Sarah Lawrence College in Bronxville.
The resulting Little Investments is a three-part comedy series that explores the father-daughter relationship, adoption, and wealth-induced delusion through the blunder of a New Jersey goomba that loves a good tracksuit named Guy Grosso. His daughter Joanna assists him in recuperating his wife's "shore house fund," which he unwittingly borrowed and lost in a shady business deal, by taking on a man-child polygamist client for her party planning business. The episodes feature marinara sauce, Rock 'em Sock 'em Robots and the Baptism sequence from The Godfather reimagined as a scene from a kid's birthday party, and though their production nearly killed me, revisiting the lost footage affirms that the only sweeter way to die would have been being drowned in honey.
Here's the blooper reel, two years in the making. Watch the full series here, ya frigs.