I finally found a diet plan that works for me
and I think that you should give it a whirl!
It's called the Bread & Butter Diet — a complication cleanse based on the staple superfoods of middle-aged men named 'Sexy Steve®'. While it may not help you find that coveted gap between your thighs, it is guaranteed to lessen the burden that is weighing down your mind.
The B & B Diet is ergonomically designed for overthinkers and undereaters, the perfectionists who need permission to accept that it's okay to be soft. It instills in mass producers that less is sometimes more, with exception to a rich indulgence every now and again (again).
Each morning you greet the day with two eggs accompanied with toast, shimmering beneath a friendly pat of butter. There are no limitations on the preparation of your eggs, though they are preferably fried to warrant the most inclusive use of lard.
Then, you carry on throughout your day adhering to the diet's signature mantra:
Keep it Simple,
Keep it Shiny,
and Pass the Butter (please).
And that's it! No more Nutribullet pulsation that awakens your entire household at 5AM. So long, steel cut oats that take longer to cook than to devour! This simple plan is proven to provide ample energy to charge ahead and into life to make it known that you are more than just a bag of bones.
So toss your kale aside to give this regimen a try that has nourished souls since the immaculate conception of Our Lord and Saviors, Bread & Butter.
ANALYZE & DISCUSS:
Are Bread and Butter the grandparents of Avocado Toast? Weigh in below.
Refer a friend to the Bread & Butter Diet to receive a complimentary 'YOU GO GIRL!' from the Olive Eye!