Grilled Bruschetta Chicken

Grilled Bruschetta Chicken

Grilled Bruschetta Chicken would be a "problem food" to eat if I were still equipped with my orthodontic grill$.

Its juicy tomatoes would sure be mangled in the red, white, and blue bracket bands, expertly chosen in preparation for the Fourth of July. Fragrant basil would find its way into the canyon separating my front canine and right molar.

Braces were a status symbol that demonstrated to your classmates, 

"hey. I have my sh*t together. where are your incisors headed in life,
you snaggle-toothed nerd?"

My tooth candy was an evolving mechanical contraption akin to the board game 'Mouse Trap' whose engineering began when my double row of bottom teeth were harvested in first grade.

Come fifth grade, railroad ties were fastened to my mouth by an orthodontist whose magnum FUPA would gently cradle my cheek every month for the subsequent five years of my adolescence.

Though they were not iced-out in diamonds, my braces did come equipped with a chain designed to summon a stubborn tooth hidden in my palate forth, and into the world. 

I love Bruschetta Chicken so much that I have two variations on its recipe. The first is a baked iteration where the chicken is lightly breaded (or coated in egg wash) and baked in the oven before being finished with the same scrumptious bruschetta topping. 

This recipe is its grilled sister that comes just in time for summer, so unleash your chicken boobs and get to grilling, braceface.



  • 1 1/2 lbs chicken breasts (let's say 8 cutlets), about the thickness of your thumb
  • 1/4 cup extra virgin olive oil
  • 1/4 cup balsamic vinegar
  • 1 tbsp minced garlic
  • 1 tsp dried oregano
  • 1/2 tsp ground pepper
  • 1 tsp salt
  • *OR* be extra lazy and swap out everything but the chicken for 1/2 cup of your favorite Italian dressing! (No shade.)

Put the oil, vinegar, garlic,  oregano, salt, and pepper in a large Ziploc bag and shake it up like Mary-Kate and Ashley's scrambled eggs cooking method featured in the blockbuster hit, Billboard Dad. Once combined, add the chicken and close the bag before giving those babies a nice, oily massage.

Move your bag to the fridge to marinate for a few hours before you're ready to grill.

The Bruschetta Topping:

  • 5 medium firm, ripe vine tomatoes
  • 4 cloves garlic, slivered or minced
  • 1 small yellow onion, chopped
  • A handful of basil leaves, chopped
  • 2 tbsp balsamic vinegar
  • 2 tbsp extra virgin olive oil
  • Salt and fresh-cracked pepper, to taste 
  • 2-3 cups of shredded mozzarella cheese

Combine the onion, garlic, olive oil, balsamic vinegar, salt and pepper in a bowl and let it sit for 15 minutes while you reminisce about your orthodontist.

Chop the tomatoes and basil and add it to the onion/garlic party bowl, stirring the mixture so that the flavors become well-acquainted. Move it to the fridge until you...

fire up ur grill$:

Preheat the grill to medium-high heat and cook the chicken about 4 minutes on each side, until they are cooked all the way through. Move the breasts to the top rack (pun intended) and lay down a sheet of foil on the main level. Move the cooked chicken back on to the foil and spoon the bruschetta topping all over, adding as much cheese on you please on top of each breast.

Close the grill for another two minutes to let the mozzarella melt before serving with rice, pasta, or bread bruschetta because why not.

Remember to remove your rubber bands before tasting your pretty poultry.

Watch this recipe unfold in the the episode featured right up hurr ^ of my Snapchat cooking show, "make it snappy". like what you see? make me your friend and catch the next culinary adventure live in action.

snapchat USername: @TheOliveEye

Analyze & Discuss:

What color would your bands be this month?

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