The Olive Appendix

Due to An UNCONVENTIONAL personal vocabularY made up of invented words and Old-World colloquialisms,

It has been brought to my attention (on several an occasion) that the general population has difficulty understanding what the hell I’m trying to say.

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To assist you in reading my memewars (keep reading), allow me to present:

THE OLIVE APPENDIX:

A Beginner's Guide In Twisted Terminology

 
APpendix.jpg
 

(Updated regularly, or upon special request)


Bed Chocolate

 

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proper noun \bed-chok-let\
Chocolate eaten in bed to affirm that everything will be okay. Often paired with Night Cheese.

 

USED IN CONTEXT:

"A bad night turned into a worse morning when I woke up with Bed Chocolate stains on my sheets."


BRAIN NUGGETS

Decoupage

plural noun \brain-nuh-gets\
A golden-brown collection of lightly baked, amorphous ideas.

noun \day-coo-pahj\
The craft of decorating objects with paper cut-outs and lacquer adhesive.

USED IN CONTEXT:

"After watching that TED Talk on making up words, I have too many brain nuggets and not enough dipping sauce."

USED IN CONTEXT:

"Found some old NSYNC albums when I was cleaning, so I cut out the covers and made a decoupaged Lance Bass bust."


Hors d'oeuvres

noun \aw-derv\
Little snacks served before a meal to hold you over while the host gets his or her sh*t together in the kitchen.

HUMAN BEAN

noun \hew-man-been\
A delicate subset of freshly-sprouted human beings rich in fiber and vegetarian protein. See Related: The Magical Fruit

USED IN CONTEXT:

"Is something burning? Ooh! Look- mini grilled cheese sandwiches are out on the hors d'oeuvres table!"

USED IN CONTEXT:

"Forgive my financial ignorance- I'm only a human bean."


Malamute

noun \mal-uh-mute\
A breed of Alaskan puffball that will one day be mine, and affectionately named 'Mother'.

USED IN CONTEXT:

LOOK AT THIS MALAMUTE PUPPY SPLASHING ITS WATER ALL OVER THE PLACE.

 
 
 

Don't spill it all, girl! It's important to stay hydrated!!!!


Meme-oirs

noun \meem-warz\
Nascent memoirs of a Twenty-Nothing.

METCH

noun \mehtch\
The masculine version of ''betch'.

USED IN CONTEXT:

"Justin Bieber's memeoir will be the Foreword of his midlife crisis romance novel, financed by prenup money after a messy divorce from Usher."

USED IN CONTEXT:

"He stopped calling me a 'Pinterest Betch' when I caught him in a metch moment watching The Bachelor on Hulu."


Mise-en-place

noun \meez-on-plas\
A French phrase meaning 'put in place' used in culinary lingo to describe the process of preparing all components of a recipe before cooking.

USED IN CONTEXT:

"Substituted Cheese Whiz into my gourmet mac & cheese because the orange powder spilled all over while preparing my mise-en-place.

#TIFU."


NAMASTE

informal exclamation \nah-mah-stay\
An ancient Sanskrit greeting used in yoga upon arrival or departure.

Pied-a-terre

noun \pee-yed-uh-tare\
An extra metropolitan apartment that people with money keep handy for bragging rights and, sometimes, living.

USED IN CONTEXT:

"Namaste, dweeb. Did you realize that your yoga pants are translucent?"

USED IN CONTEXT:

"I would offer you a cocktail, but all of my booze money went to utilities bills for my Milan pied-a-terre."


#TIFU  

noun \tea-foo\
A hashtagged abbreviation of the phrase 'Thing(s )I F*cked Up' used to acknowledge the finer moments of our imperfect existence.

Used In Context:


Twenty-Nothing

proper(ish) noun \twehn-tee-nuh-thing\
Less than a twenty-something, more than neanderthal.

USED IN CONTEXT:

"I may be a twenty-nothing now, but watch out world...

 I'm just getting started."

 

ANALYZE & DISCUSS:

Which variety of bed chocolate wrapper would you use to decoupage the front cover of your memewars?