I AM YOUNG, THEREFORE I KNOW NOTHING.
I can rap gold digger from memory, but have already forgotten your name.
i HAVE A CREDIT CARD but can't explain what CREDIT IS OR what it DOES,
and still handle first dates with all the finesse of a murder investigation.
I am THE absolute WORST.
BUT! then again,
I have been an intern for Martha Stewart,
once coerced Alec Baldwin into writing a twitter haiku,
gave birth to a comedy mini series,
hold the prestigious position as head chef in an Italian-American household, and study things like
the science of creativity,beyonce, and Leonardo DaVinci for fun.
. . . So maybe I do know a thing or two about a thing or two.
I AM NOT A LIFESTYLE EXPERt,
BUT RATHER, A LIFESTYLE AMATEUR.
To be considered an expert in anything requires years of making an ass out of yourself through mistrial and error until you have witnessed all of the things that could possibly go wrong.
Lucky for you, being a daily disaster is one of my strong suits. I'm willing to take one for the team, flushing any shame down the commode to flop freely on the interwebz so that you don't have to!
Through everyday experiments and reflections on personal life experiences, I seek to transform us all from booty-twerking twenty-nothings into more creative, productive, semi-sufficient *human beans*.
The only thing I ask in return is that you drop a line. Fill me in on the struggles and mysteries of your everyday world so that I can explore and report back to move you one step closer towards an ideal future as an Upper East Side scarf collector with an open-concept pied-à-terre, and a white Alaskan malamute lovingly named 'Mother'.
...Am I still talking out loud?